Seems so obvious..

If you compromise how you would be when you are with someone - you are compromising yourself. If you compromise what you would say to someone, then with that person - you are compromising yourself. If you hold back what you feel when you are with someone - you are compromising yourself. The only compromise there should be is when you respect that person's feelings, so therefore selflessly do something which is maybe for them more than it is for you. But that isn't a compromise of who you are......

When you choose a person to be 'your person'... there should be no need for compromise... of who you are. Otherwise that person... isn't the one.

Don't forget the music...

42 days til departure

Wow.. madness... virtual insanity.. ok that went a little far. But I actually recall the very moment I decided it was a good idea, I recall the day I applied for the tour, and I remember thinking to myself... I have almost a year to wait for this holiday to happen, I'm sure it'll fly by, but it seems forever away. Now I'm here, so much excitement, and too, so much ambivalence for reasons other than the trip. But focusing on the excitement stuff is literally making every other issue seem trivial. It's a good thing, trust me, I resemble a loony toon when I let issues dictate my every day life. Well, at least I think so. Ask my best friend, he'll tell you...haha... Well one or two loose ends and on July 4th, I hop on board a flight that I'm sure (almost sure) will be destination - elation....... !

..... almost

Stress relief 101

We are never entirely sure whether the things we choose to be a part of are a good idea or otherwise bad idea, until we are actually in the situation which answers the question. When I find it was in fact a good idea, I'm happy that I made the right choice. When I find is was a bad idea, that's when the problem comes in, because then how do you get out of it.... you're kind there and in it. So now comes the time to adapt to the amount of time you will be in it so as to make it as close to that feeling of 'it was a good idea' as possible. This is fine, when you have 'way out' a means of distraction or........ cigarettes. haha. kidding, but yes, I often wonder which of the two evils is a better means for distracting yourself from the situation you've just put yourself in which seemed like a good idea at the time, but now not so much. Do you:

(A) smoke a cigarette -
      pros: remain level-headed
              inhibitions stay in tact
              stress relief upon every exhale
   
      cons: the problem isn't forgotten - not even temporarily
               your mind works in overdrive as opposed to cruise control
               at worst: your kill your lungs and inevitably yourself

(B) have a drink 'or 2' -
      pros: problem temporarily goes away
              mellow mode kicks in, nothing matters other than the great time you're having
              you feel happy and completely oblivious to issues

      cons: you lose your inhibitions completely
               lose all form of level-headedness
               at worst: seriously bad hangover, regrets, drunk dialing

(C) lose your shit -
      pros: you feel amazing coz you're screaming and/or shouting it out
              you don't have to fake smile
              you don't have the detrimental health side affects of (A) and (B)

      cons: you appear temporarily insane
               you upset a lot of people and inevitably yourself
               you still will be in the situation, but now an even bigger one             

My issue is... in all the above mentioned stress relieving scenarios, the primary and most relative Con, is that the problem in no way or form goes away and in most cases - worsens. fuck. so then.... what does one do? Hulk seems to get it right, maybe we'll chat.

Until then... I've found headphones when surrounded by people whom you don't wish to be around, or going for a drive, with decent music of course. Apparently there's just a cool off period for situations like these where the 'oh shit this was a bad idea' becomes evident. So if you can keep your shit together for that period of time... you won't find yourself dancing on a table in a bar or alternatively with the black lung.

!

Justice Fail

The news...At times it seemed far fetched it was so terrible, so I stopped listening to it... and I know its because the only societal feedback I need from the world are the happenings of entertainment, shows and things I'd like to see and do in the world. I was sorely reminded why it's so depressingly burdening on one's life and thoughts when I read the paper yesterday. Written as 4 'minors' - well if you want to refer to 17 year old perverted, hormonal young men as minors - well, they gang raped a mentally disabled girl and recorded the entire event. (As a joke) coz apparently not everyone finds Demetri Martin funny (just saying) and other comedians of the like, but gang rape video's will fulfill their comical needs. wtf. moving on. What's worse about this story, which kills me when I go on to even think about why the fuck this was able to happen........ but this is the 3rd time that the girl has had this happen to her. But due to her mental disability, her form of description and lack of proof and and.. it was always dismissed in court. So now, what with this video making it around the world and back (unsure whether after the court case or before) she can finally put her perps behind bars. Welllll, so you'd think. According to the "justice" system, these idiots have been let out on R500 bail.... Wooooooooooa don't go too high there, they may not be able to be bailed out! (as if they should be able in the first place) And to make matters worse, they aren't going to be charged of rape. Only assault - which can be fined. Criminal Justice in this country is screwed up beyond description. This is why I don't read the news... every blog would be angry hating... bunch of c you next tuesdays.

True Story

Guess what I almost hit while I was reversing out of my parking?


- A carguard.