The faith timeframe

What defining moment makes you say 'ok, enough is enough' or has you believe that faith and hope is dwindling and starting to resemble a level of unrealistic expectation? As natural optimists (I like to believe that naturally we are optimists and that in life certain things turn us into pessimists - and not the other way round) I think that we honestly continue to have faith in anything, any person or any situation until such time that something or someone  else distracts us from this into realising that we needn't limit ourselves to only one faith, hope or dream, we can have many, and that if one dream isn't realised - then we can dust ourselves off and pursue another. For so many people in so many situations it is at least a healthy alternative to just never knowing when enough is enough and trying and failing each time with a repeated scenario. I only had to witness this a few times with people I know, to see that we are all the same in this. It's hard to surrender to an outcome we weren't hoping to surrender to, yet the sooner we did, the sooner we'd adapt and the sooner we'd find comfort and happiness even in what you have or will come to have. It also doesn't have to be the end of the world if we don't always get what we want out of life, because humans by nature are ambitious and by having this inbred characteristic - always desire things beyond our means. Well, not necessarily 'beyond' our means. But something that definitely requires work and effort to attain. I guess, the point is when you know you've exhausted your work and effort, sometimes you need to realise that that particular 'need' or 'want' is something that you're going to have to surrender to as being a different outcome that you had originally hoped.

Blue Monday

Sex and the City

I have recently taken up the series of SATC in a personal quest to see what all the fuss was about. Well, it's not all Fendi and Dolce after all.... in fact the amazing clothes and labels are there just to show upper east side living, and plus, a well thought out story about the cynicism of a group of best girlfriends when it comes to life, relationships, and sex wouldnt be as entertaining were it filmed in an 'average living' state where where life is very ordinary, let's say. But the story behind the bling bags and high stiletto's has me blushing, laughing, nodding my head a hellova lot (not to mention relating.... to almost every single episode) So, needless to say, I am completely in love with SATC. Carrie, who is a columnist asks the same questions I have run through my very mind in question for so long. It's a great show, I take back the stereotype stigma of the type of person who thrives and lives by it... although I'm pretty sure there are many reasons 'other girls' enjoy it vs my reasons. But it's all good. Chick show to the max, but with the witty intellect to keep me eager at unfolding the next episode each time with regards to relationships and life and the conclusions they come up with. Perhaps... somehow... I might be enlightened :) So far, I have come to know that....... I'm not alone in my ways and ideas when it comes to these topics. Perhaps I should mail copies of the series to the few that think I'm 'different' ....... just saying.

Dear Work...

Goodbye..........Au Revoir..........Auf Wiedersehen............Adios...........Farvel............ Til 2012

Cue: Holiday Groove

Hahaha, :P

Change it up!

Ok, so this summer's about changing your look.... Stop being boring.. When you look better, you feel better. Do you feel amazing right now? No, change your look, your vibe and essentially (hopefully) you will start to feel better. Easiest way to change your look is with a new haricut or different style sunnies. I am mildly obsessed with  sunglasses at the moment and think that it is an accessory you should be able to change up depending the mood you're in. This summer's mood - vintage. Chic. Whatever. Out with the old, in with the new. If sunnies isnt enough, change your hair colour, lose weight and maybe even pass yourself off as someone else. Hahahaha. Kidding. I don't really give a shit, I just wanted to post cool pics of awesome sunglasses..... :/

3 days...

Thank God it's almost holiday... or the labour law.... or, erm... the birth of Jesus? Ah screw it... whomever is deserving of the gratitude - here it is.. I feel that I am slowly starting to lose patience sooner than usual, my communicative skills are diminishing and the lack of chocolate in my life is making my brain fuzzy and very, very confused. In fact, this endorphin releasing substance is probably what kept me off the 'bitch fence' ... so yeah, what with the diet, detox and fitness vibe, i have started climbing that fence due to a serious lack of 'sweetness' in my system. It happens. But like I said... thank the pope (forgot about him) that holiday is just about here.. Time to switch off to the sounds of 5fm.. and tune into the sounds of my cd's. Time to get out of bed whenever the hell I feel like it and not grab my phone aimlessly when it starts blaring Adrian lux's 'teenage crime' to wake me up. (In the event that I have actually had a decent night's sleep) Yeah - funny how certain given's become luxuries for the uneasy mind. I will go where I like, when I like and not have to worry about who knows where I am... I will not do anything I don't feel like... this is my holiday after all.......... And very soon I will jump in a car and set off on a holiday where I will have an ambivalent feeling of being away for 5 days. But I am so unbelievably certain that I need it. I promise to come back resembling my usual former self.. (non bitch fence) It's time for a change.. maybe a break from here will inspire that... that and lindt chocolate. Just saying..

Time to dance..

As it comes to a close..

So there are precisely 13 working days left for me this year. I can't tell you how eager I am to just have my mind take a break from everything - and that generally comes about, when there are no obligations left. We still have our dance show coming up on the 6th of December. Super keen for that. But until such time, it's waking up with an alarm, trying to exude some form of positivity in order to get through it (as the time can drag) and counting down the days really.... There's another countdown on, which ties in with the end of work as well.. and it's the countdown to reach the goal weight that I'm keen to be for Summer and well essentially as long as possible, with the right amount of fitness and good eating. I am well aware of the fact that we are going into the 'festive' season and that means a lot of feel good eating is gonna be going down. But then all the more reason why one should go into it fit and ready, so that it's not some unimaginable task in the new year. Anyway, let me pause now to say that it's going well... so far. And as all things go, dedication is key. Doesn't help when every day for the last 2 weeks have been mid winter vibe days... Not conducive to good eating. Makes you do crazy things like eat a pancake! Hahaha, well, all the food and fitness talk aside, life is ok... in an aesthetically distant sort of way. So keep on keeping on is the idea.............

Black Tuesday

The passing of the secrecy Bill would mark the beginning of the end of the freedom and is most likely to be passed today....

So wear black today to show you're against the secrecy bill... or if your mood just matches it... Whichever makes you comfortable... Coincidentally, it's the colour I'm wearing. 

Monday..

It's the weekeeeeeeeend baby! Fuck yeah! :) :) :)

Is everyone, but me, insanely happy? I'm sorry, but every status I read, is "Sooooo excited for this weekend!" or "Soooo excited to see my boyfriend later" or "Friday, yaaaaaaaay" Are these people on a chronic dose of prozac or are do they really just lead such perfect lives, that every remotely cool thing, becomes the BEST thing in the entire WORLD to happen EVER! And it's happening THIS WEEKEND!! Wow.. Clearly I categorize my emotions better, or my life sucks. I wonder which one it is.. Maybe a bit of both. Whatever. I'm going to have a somewhat cool weekend, but its not scream-it-from-the-rooftops-amazing... though I bet it might even be more fulfilling than those who are screaming out loud all over their statuses. But I guess, that's their way of telling themselves that cool things are happening for them, when in fact they're just kinda average things really. Or 'normal' things. Like getting overexcited coz it's Friday, oh my word, you'll never slip into manic depression, coz every Friday (even if you're having shitty days prior to it) you are overwhelmed with supreme joy! It's fascinating for you, I'm so excited for you right now. Monday- Thursday's issues go into Pandora's box until Monday returns. That's incredible. I wonder if I start doing that if I'll start to believe that amazing things are happening too, or if the people who really know me will think I've lost my mind, and consequently offer me some advice for the reason behind my 'obvious' overcompensation of emotions.. well that, or some of their prozac.

Human beings = strange.

When it rains, it pours

God, I hate that saying, mainly because of how true it actually is. I was thinking to myself just yesterday (whilst taking a timeout from my day) why as we get older we handle our issues differently. And by saying that I don’t mean we handle it in a more mature way than before, that’s a completely different thing – and as we are older, I would hope we do handle them with more maturity than before. But instead I mean, before if you were having a nightmare of day, nothing was going right and it literally felt like the walls were closing in on you.... the only thing you want to do is call up a friend to go hang out with at the end of the day and listen to their day, or talk crap about nothing important and just forget your troubles for some time, so that you can relax, remain sane and regroup basically. These days when you have a day like that, it is difficult to face anyone or anything. Not talking to anyone, seeing no one and instead – retreating to your very quiet home to just be alone is all that you feel like. Honestly... I don’t even want to talk about the issues, I don’t want advice on them (unless of course you can solve them – then jump right in.... Please!) and I certainly don’t know how to pretend that they’re not there by being around someone else. So I suppose the thought that crossed my mind was whether we just have less energy these days to pretend nothing’s wrong and look for that escape in going somewhere with someone to forget about them, or whether the problems we face are just bigger or more important that you actually can’t ignore them? It’s quite impossible to? I’m starting to think it’s the latter, just because I don’t think there’s comfort in forgetting something that hasn’t been resolved, you can’t hide it away in your mind til later because it’s too important to not think about. Whereas having a bad day, when that’s all it’s been – crabby customers, late for work, spilled coffee on yourself, that type of thing you can escape from at the end of the day by actually being around a happy face and forgetting about the day, coz it’s in the past. I can only hope the downpour of yesterday will slowly start to dry up and things can go back to normal again. And my normal I simply mean the normal I’m used to dealing with. 

That's what I said!

Say cheese

Ok, So I don't even recall whether I have mentioned my new toy... the Nikon D70 SLR. Bought for the purpose of, erm, taking photos, haha, and well mainly for the fact that I would like to have a decent camera for my trip overseas next year. (that, I have mentioned) Well I decided to start playing around and seeing how complex an SLR vs a simple point and shoot is. At first I didn't want to do a thing without a manual, or a living and breathing manual, with whom I might have more patience. (I don't do reading instructions very well) Anywaaaay, seeing as though I was anxious to just get started on my own, I figured what the hell and started snapping. I have plenty to learn, very keen to as well, so let's see how it progresses I guess. I've created a new page under my list of pages on the right, check it out if you want. Hoping there's potential for some good ones. Anyway, just another thing I'm into.. so it's more for fun than anything else.

Don't know that I have a pic of me on my blog.. hahaha, odd I guess? I don't know. But here is the face behind the cam.. well.... some of it ;)

word of the day

pre·vail

Verb:

To prove more powerful than opposing forces; be victorious: "it is hard for logic to prevail over emotion".

How convenient..

Old people will do and say what they want because they can get away with it.... 'Ah don't stress about him, he's old... he has no idea what he's doing or saying.' Or 'don't let it get to you, he's old, he didn't mean it.' Do some people (that aren't old enough to qualify for this excuse) do the same? Act stupid so as to be able to get away with things? It's easier isn't it? Pretend that you don't get it... and that is forever your defense. To the point that no one gives those type of people a hard time anymore because 'he's like that'... hmmmmm, I wonder sometimes.. This could turn into quite a story if I get into it. But I don't feel like it right now. Also I haven't blogged in a while, as pressing work issues have been occupying my time and thoughts. And I am sure to return with plenty....(Annoyed zone = blog zone) But some things are quite hard to resist the urge to mention. But again, no need to carry on. Just think it's true of some, not-old people to carry this trait.

4 in 4

And so the internal challenge begins.... time to trim the fat.... literally..

Oh and Happy Halloween - apparently is custom to celebrate this holiday here even though it holds no bearing to South Africa or Africa for that matter. But it's fun to dress up and eat sweets. So why the hell not? ...I guess was the idea behind it...

Carz coz I can

Jaywalking

I'd like to know where I can apply for a permit to take out a certain amount of jaywalkers a month. Anyone? Jaywalking should be illegal. Walk to the friggin pedestrian you stupid moron!!!!! And if you can't find one.... its probably not safe to cross there.... Imagine that notion? Can't? Doesn't surprise me. When you cross the road you have to keep travelling the way you were travelling before you crossed it anyway... So why not just do it on the side you're on until you reach a part where jaywalking becomes walking... and I won't hit you.

Hanging Like a Cheap suit

I don't get it... why would you want to wake up with a hangover...? (Assuming you're not 18 and just discovered booze) Here's the even stranger part... Why would you want to wake up with a hangover on a Monday of all days? Also, why does it make sense for say a 35-year old to wake up fresh every day for work coz he takes it seriously, and well because it's normal to be fresh for work, but a 25-year old - if he isn't coming to work hungover sometimes on a Monday or a Friday or a whatever day coz he chose not to get drunk randomly a day before he had a job to do, why is he deemed boring? Or not living? Or becoming old before he age? Surely if you work, no matter your age or demographic or any other the above, we are all expected to perform at the same levels as the rest, which is - to the best of our ability in general? Not the best of our ability on that particular day, otherwise everything would be done half-arsed I imagine. I just don't really get it. There are 2 nights a week where you can lose your mind, your underwear and your car if you felt like that was part of 'living', namely Friday and Saturday. But people still think that random midweek partying and Sunday deck partying is the way to spend your remaining leisure time from the working week. I think then as I look back at yesterday and the way I spent it, with friends and music and cool conversations and laughs (for bizarre reasons at times) There weren't hundreds of people, there wasn't a DJ - 'Yet Ag-en was on stage - which I've started to understand the meaning of behind their name now, and as opposed to a deck there were Moroccan style cushions and pillows everywhere to chill. I guess some would debate as to which set up is better, but if you had to ask me about the details of any moment of the day vs someone at the OC of their recollection of all their moments on the Sunday, I'm pretty sure, mine was way more 'memorable' in all meanings of the word. So when I see statuses on my phone of people I know saying how sick they feel today... I can only laugh, coz I wonder whether it was worth it? Problem is I don't think they even remember if it was...

My Favourite

I think it's funny how even though we have our favourite song on our pc's, ipods and cd's... we still get so excited when it starts to play on the radio.. and we turn it up and smile like we'll never hear it anywhere but there...

I also think when it comes to songs, the word 'favourite' doesn't hold it's true meaning... I have many 'favourites' :)

Get over yourself

When I need to stop driving in the road, on which I have right of way (given that it's an effing road and I am in an effing car), so that you came aimlessly idle across the road at your own speed with your gaze in another direction of that my car coming up behind you...I literally want to ride you over. You know those movies where people imagine out how they'd do it and you believe that's what's happening and then it switches back to him sitting in the car just watching the moron cross the road and rather being patient, because, well, prison apparently isnt very comfortable. I do think if I chose to ride him over - that's where I might end up. Anyway, I noticed the chip on his shoulder and decided it wasn't worth it, so at the risk of whatever could possibly go wrong I decided to approach him slowly anyway as he got to the other side of the road and leer at him as if to say, 'you're lucky you made it!' Hahahaahaha. Arrrrg annoying driving stories... Get over yourself.... look where you're walking, hurry across a road where cars literally are trying to drive, even better yet, find a goddam pedestrian crossing!! Imagine that... cars will stop, and happily so.... not almost take you out whilst you're on your way to... um, probably nowhere important anyway.

weird funny

Life: 101

I think it's so strange how we're all meant to live life the 'right' way, and yet with over 6.5 billion people in the world... we're all living it so differently from the next. Simply put - we are all trying to figure out the meaning of life (Riddle of the -, um..... infinity) and while I actually only mean 50%, because 50% don't care to figure it out, aren't smart enough to think in those dimensions, or otherwise believe they have in fact figured it out and are ok with how they're doing it, I am still concerned that a certain majority hasn't risen like a phoenix from the ashes with the 'right' way. Sure you'll get guru's and you'll watch Eat, Pray, Love and read books that explain what the right way is... and I'm sure somewhere far away in India with their fruit diets and no need for sleep and roaming around tranquil gardens with flowing waters and pretty insects - they are 100% convinced that that is what life is essentially about. But my question is... if we all decided one morning to live the guru life, would we end up stuck in an era? There'd be no future developments, almost no going forward as such. Ambition and desires would fall away, as we would want for nothing other than the simple-worldly things that we are blessed with.. water, food from the ground and ultimately inner peace. Seriously!?!!? So I say ok, we can't all live the same... if everyone lived in exactly the same fashion as everyone else.. well I can't even fathom the word that might describe what life would be like.. Too much of one thing can't be good. It doesn't really make sense I think. I guess what I'm trying to say is... aren't we all playing our own individual parts in contributing to living it the 'right' way by doing it differently?

It's been a while - NO shit!

I love how when you don't hear from someone for a long time and then you decide to contact them to see how they are, (as you do every time) coz for some reason it crossed your mind that its been a while.... It's always an acceptable response to say: "Sorry! Ive just been sooooo busy" It's like if you can bullshit a person by making them believe that their life is 24/7 work, then surely that is a good enough apology because, well... it's work?! Then you get the people who you call when you haven't heard from them in a long time, and they don't even give an excuse OR an apology, in fact it's the most random bullshit conversation in the world. That one where people don't know what to say, so they say: "We must get together some time" And you probably never ever see them again. You might bump into them in a shop and at that point they awkwardly dodge you, so as to avoid the same Bullshit conversation. Anyway.... Make an effort.. all I'm saying....

Just coz

Shoot your heart out

It's been a good couple of days since I have posted anything, but my mind went on a sabbatical and has officially returned. In this period I decided to buy a camera. And not just any camera, but a decent SLR. I have taken a few shots and am so pleased to say that it's fucking awesome! Hahaha. I imagine that I will get quite involved in it. Right now, I need to just figure out how to play around with it and then I'm sure the rest will follow. It was intended for the trip to Europe next year. I cannot wait to capture the architectural beauty that is set to be seen after going through the itinerary. Super excited! Anyway, I'll be somewhat good behind the camera by then I think, :) Watch this space!

And on to other things.............. haha... Dancing started last night, busy learning what will be my 3rd dance for our end of year show. It's a piece whereby contemporary fuse with hiphop on stage. It's going to great in the end. Lots of choreography learnt last night already. Let's see... It's not far away before we hit the stage again...

Summer's almost here... wow. I also have no idea how I am going to survive it at home, I feel as though my oxygen levels decrease as I walk through the door. But that's ok, I spend too much time indoors anyway, maybe I'll just start spending my evenings going for drives and taking pics.. perhaps the beach?!

While my mind has returned, it is still full of shit and trying to be positive.. I am also hoping for positive outcomes and things to happen for a lot of people who need it and are waiting for it.. 

"everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay..... it's not the end"

Define Normal

Hombre's & Mujeres

Men and Women’s bathrooms should be indicated just by the words ‘ladies and gents’, not silhouettes of a strapping man or lady of the night, gender symbols, or words in another language that mean I need to understand whether I’m heading into the right bathroom based on my brushed up European. There shouldn’t be sombrero’s or female and male versions of hens and crap. When I need to pee, the last thing I wanna do is uncomfortably dance outside two doors staring at the ‘bathroom indicators’ of which one I should enter. Eventually I end up seeing a male going into the one and naturally burst through the door next to his, assuming and hoping that he isn’t a screaming queen and his preference is to use a ladies room. In which case I could potentially be blinded by running into ‘the cockhouse’ and not the henhouse...

Ladies and gents.... that’s all. We don’t need to play guessing games when going to the loo... we have to guess enough in our life to avoid finding this entertaining. Thanks.

I mean.............. This is one of those moments where you just 'hope' you have solved the riddle and that your logic is in tact when you're walking in.

AllStarz pics

Why on a Monday?

I feel like I've been hit by a bus today... Not sure why, I hardly did anything this weekend - well, sleep-inducing anyway. I felt buggered last night, struggled to get up this morning and my head feels the weight of a small canon ball. Hopefully coffee gets me through whatever it is. Maybe I'm getting sick.. hope not. Dance class starts tonight again. fml