mk.

I tried to carry you and make you whole, but it was never enough, I must go.......
Who is gonna save you when I'm gone? And who'll watch over you when I'm gone?
You say you care for me but hide it well.... How can you love someone and not yourself?
And when I'm gone who will break your fall? Who will you blame?
I can't go on and let you lose it all... It's more than I can take.....

Life is hard and then you die.

I haven't written in a while.... and it's obvious why, when I think about it. We only get creative through feelings of pain, chaos or confusion. Not that I am ever entirely free of these things, but there's an acceptable norm that comes with life.... and then there are the parts that shouldn't be acceptable at all, really....

If I had to be told I had 5 years left to live............ what would go through my mind... Would I be happy with where I am ? Would I feel that I've done the right thing by everyone I care about? But more importantly done right by "me"?

The point is... we don't get told. We just live each day hoping that we are part of the norm (live a long life, leave this earth when we're old and tired) But nobody knows what's in store. So how do we please everyone and please ourselves at the same time? Or do we just choose one person who, when you're pleasing them, you're pleasing yourself and visa versa, as it is that way for them as well. I guess then you've got it right. How difficult is this though...  I guess that's why there are so many lonely hearts in the world.

It's not fair that people hurt other people, it's not fair that people die young, it's not fair that the ones who are still around are not living their lives right and the ones who were - die. It's not always the case. But a lot of the time it is.. Sometimes I believe that the deaths that are the most shocking to accept are the lessons for the living. It hurts and affects us when the people who are meant to go, go. How terrible that we need to constantly be taught the lesson that life is short...we aren't chasing our dreams or making the most of what we're meant to.

We all have choices........... how much we choose to accept, how much we choose to ignore..... how much we choose to let in...... what we choose to do, say and feel.

RIP Peter Laz. Taken too soon................

Never ending love for this car

   

Look up

In life, I think everyone's missing the point......

Acoustic love

I don't know where people like James Bay come from... or what inspires them... but I know one thing, I feel deeply connected to them. Not many people care for melancholy music, I can only guess it's because they don't understand it, because it doesn't do anything for them, there's no emotive connection.. Which is fine. But I realise I am quite deep and emotional, and I can't change that, no matter how I've tried...... I'm drawn to this because of the passion you can see and hear in their songs...... Sometimes I feel like if nothing ever turned out as planned, but I could listen to music like this every day for the rest of my life, I would feel privileged. James Bay I found you just this morning and already you are as close to my heart as a few other musicians are. I don't want to take you out of my ears because when I listen to you today, it anchors my soul. No one will understand that, but I do, and that's fine.

Flashback friday

"Hopeless" Romantic

I often wonder if being smart and being a romantic are conflicting character traits. Is it heart vs mind? Are people who follow their heart always going to end up being the ones who get mistreated or hurt? Will the smart ones always be the ones holding the cards, because they understand that deep emotions make us irrational, and they live in world where they don't like the feeling of not being in control of their decisions and feelings, so they choose mind over heart? I like to believe you can be both.....But at least I know I'm not mad... while most people just want to be loved...... seems wanting to give love as much as wanting to receive it is actually a thing. People don't understand that, they'll think it's all about you you you... But it's always actually us us us.............

HOPELESS ROMANTIC .............."defined"

A hopeless romantic dreams of who they will spend the rest of their life with and what the two of them will do together. They dream of being loved but also loving somebody. They don't just want somebody to hold them. They also want to hold someone. They realize that love isn't just about one person but both people.


This person is in love with love. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and the fanciful - when you get to know them.They often live with rose colored glasses on.They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.

Prophechies lend perspective, I like that..

"Why We Shout In Anger"

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take a bath, found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because when we lose our calm, we shout.'
'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.'asked the saint
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued,'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Cynicism knocking at my door

I think in life we try so hard to follow our hearts with guided assistance of the mind... and although this method is implored on us..... I'm starting to see the holes in it. We're not meant to change who we are deep inside... the hopeless romantic shouldn't have to become a cynic of true love, the dreamer shouldn't have to come back down to earth if he enjoys dreaming. But life for some reason, and the people we believe in the most, often tends to gently hack away at what we believe in with all it's tests and obstacles.

Sometimes you feel like you've been through so many tests............. you've endured........... you've grown.......... you've fought tooth and nail........ and picked up some scars along the way......... and yet as close to finish line as you are, it's like someone somewhere is laughing in the background saying "fooled you"

I guess we only make fools of ourselves when we allow ourselves to run a race that can't be won.

No more FF/RW, just Reset - Play

I underestimate the effect that good music has on my mood..................... It's that time of year... where we're meant to start feeling the holidays approach, summer days, bicycle rides, happy people, time to perk up the vibe.... no more radio, "mixtapes" for the car only, yeah!

Martin Luther King

Everyone has dreams... Some are big, some are small, some only have one -MLK. But we all have them. It's only natural that we do everything we can to achieve it or "get there". As time goes by the dream becomes more of a reality for some and for others it seems further out of reach as the days pass... This is when people start to settle for the next best dream, or the next desire that seems possible on the list. No one wants to be at this point in life, this realization, but a vast majority tend to find themselves there. These people will end up sailing through their entire lives settling because they found that there is happiness in "second best", not ultimate satisfaction, but happiness.... The reason this is ok for most is because chasing something that you're not going to get doesn't contribute to any happiness at all... Rather a constant feeling of "ill be happy soon" and soon never comes... So settling becomes the obvious and more appealing option. In the end people just want to be happy... So I guess, chase the dream you know will come to fruition, because sometimes, even working really hard at something doesn't always lead to reward in the end.

No one should have to settle.... But I suppose (even though I'm one who chooses not to) I can understand why people do, because no one deserves to not find happiness........somewhere.

More of this :)

Let's face it... life is only interesting if we make it interesting. There are so many days with nothing to do and nowhere to go.... then there are days like these. I want more of these....

See you soon..Can't wait!!

........

Just stop talking..

Ignorant people are the bane of my existence. And while yes, I might not know everything - far from it..... but I am less ignorant for having acquired the skill of knowing when not to speak.

When you open your pie hole so hastily into a conversation you have very little knowledge or education on ... you open yourself up to judgement, and round here - we're no motherfuckin' Masipa.

Should be fun. Bicycles generally are. :)

Disregard for sanctity - how easily people forget..

It's a random post from my side, but it was sent around at work, I have only heard the news about his death not really looked into it. I always feel that a young guy that's married and in fame is far more likely to end up in a position where he forgets the things that Mike Maile states below. But truth be told many men fall into the trap of "forgetting" what they started or why they started and fuck it all up. I feel sorry for his wife, but then again, I have no clue about their situation... only that it resembles a cliche.. hence my sympathies lie with her and her children.

Wise words from Mike Maile after the death of Senzo

"I am not going to judge Senzo and Kelly. As an African, it would also be wrong for me to speak ill of the departed. I have no right to say their relationship was right or wrong. I am no paragon of morality and will not judge. However, there is an issue that has been bugging me that I want to talk about. Statistics point to the fact that divorce amongst black people has been in the increase since 1994.
From my observations, black brothers meet a genuine, beautiful and lovely lady that sweeps them off their feet. She remains the apple of their eye until they make money or get power. They get exposed to women who wear make-up, expensive branded clothes and drink champagne. They suddenly, feel that their wives are backward and do not fit in with their new found social profile.
It is my considered opinion that, the woman you are with defines you as well as what you truly want. You saw her, dated her and thought she was the perfect one out of all the women you met, hence you married her. The petite, English speaking, champagne sipping size 28 that drives you mad did not contribute to your growth. The woman that you now find backward, that is after impregnating her five times, was there from day one. She might not be the brightest spark, but she ironed your shirt when you went to that first presentation, she served you food and consoled you after you did not get that first deal. She cooked for you again and organized a celebration after you clinched your first deal.
She put the kids to bed whilst you were out hustling. She cooked whatever was in the fridge and made an attempt to make it taste it good before you got the MONEY that now makes you feel like the man. She did not shout, but instead took out the last R500 she had saved when you did not have petrol money to get to your next appointment.
This is the woman who had to tolerate you when you hit the bottle out of frustration when the first, second and third deals did not materialize. You swore at her. Slept with your back facing her. You were frustrated and took it out on the poor woman. She could have walked, but chose to stay and support you all the way. She is not alone. There are many like her. You are no exception, either. Many like you used women like her and developed a new 'taste' or 'liking' for women. The fact that size 28's throw themselves at you because of your new found wealth and or power, does not help.
Unless you know who you are, you will get lost in this confusion. I have not done the research, but I swear that these divorces come about as a result of us, men, changing because of new found fame and power. I have just defined a trophy wife for you. Many have destroyed their lives as a result of losing of focus. 

All I am saying is that the woman you first fall in love with and decide to marry is the one."

Life's short, eat cake.